Forgiveness 101


I can only write about that which I know firsthand. Being a bodyworker, I’m always fascinated at the human body’s ability to heal itself. Livers can regenerate. Scabs form to knit skin together when it’s been cut. Noses cease bleeding as blood clots form. Bones calcify after a break. When a body is wounded, forces inside go to work to mend. The body is always working toward homeostasis, the tendency to seek and maintain a condition of balance or equilibrium within its internal environment, even when faced with external changes.


When we suffer a physical cut, we immediately cleanse the wound, disinfect it so that it doesn’t fester, and then we bandage it carefully. For the moment, it is still tender…and it will be until the tissues begin to knit themselves together and healing is underway. Healing is a process. Sometimes emotional wounds can cut as well. However, it seems that when we are emotionally wounded, we tend to rip the scab off and keep the wound fresh, blocking the healing process. Why do we do this?


At some point, I believe we move from the wrong against us to proudly displaying the badge of having been wronged.


Rarely do we stop and reflect on the pain and suffering we have inflicted on others, whether intentionally or not. I began thinking about this the other day. I wondered how many people walk around bearing scars that were created by their time with me. I cringe at that thought, and it makes me feel guilty for having ever blamed someone for hurting me. Sadly, I have been a score keeper. I feel as though God is saying, “Stop keeping score. I stopped keeping score long ago.”


Forgiveness then, as I have come to understand it, is not pardoning those who have done you harm. Forgiveness is refusing to reopen the wound time and again, allowing the process of becoming whole. It’s not finding an identity in the pain. It’s not letting the perpetrator off the hook but letting YOURSELF off the hook. Refusing to be defined by an episode, an interaction, a relationship as it was, THAT is forgiveness. THAT is healing.

Don’t go looking for ways to hurt. Don’t sport your pain like a badge of honor. It is anything but.


At some point the suffering will be so great you will be forced to choose: life or death. Just as the body succumbs to disease and infection, so too will the spirit if one is hell bent on keeping the toxic backpack of the past. Are you willing to carry the stench and rot of pain with you? Or are you willing to allow yourself to regenerate and become whole and new again? If you have ever reopened a wound on your skin, you have found that sometimes, eventually, despite your constant picking, your body would indeed heal, but it would leave a scar. I think it’s the same with the things we hide away in our souls. But because they are hidden from view, I believe their healing takes longer, sometimes years. Sometimes, it takes an entire life time. And some are just stubborn enough to never heal. I don’t want to be one of those people. I don’t want to be pathological.


Remember, infected wounds are unsightly and can spread disease to others. So, too, our emotional injuries can cause harm to others. People tend to not want to touch your puss-filled arm. What makes you think they want your black, heavy heart?


These days, I am seeking emotional homeostasis. Regardless of external circumstances, I want to continue to heal and work toward balance. I’ve adopted this mantra to say out loud, as many times a day as needed to encourage healing: “I am not my past. I am not my wounds. I am not what has been done to me. I am whole. I am healthy. I am a life-filled, joy-filled soul with great purpose. I now release the need to be angry, hurt and resentful. I put down this burden and pick up the bag marked “JOY”. It is light and airy and buoys me as I travel this world. It is my birthright. I claim it now.”


If you are struggling with emotional pain, I hope this helps you.


Love and peace,
Dawn Davis, LMT
February 25, 2018


This blog post was contributed by Dawn Davis, a wonderful, compassionate, seeker of wisdom who gives the best massages in the world – ladies only! Here’s her contact info:

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