My life was pretty close to perfect. I had a cute little apartment not far from where I worked. I drove a fast little sports car and after I paid my bills, my wages went to fund the love of my life… traveling. I’d hop in my car for weekend get-aways and save up for months for a trip “across the pond” to Ireland or England. I love the American west, particularly Colorado, and tried to get there as often as possible.
I really didn’t need or want a man in my life. One of my former school teachers asked why I never got married. I smiled, and told him that I was so happy, I would have to be absolutely certain the guy I married would only add to that happiness, not interfere with it, and I hadn’t met anyone like that yet. I definitely wasn’t looking!
And then this handsome, talented, kind man walked into my life. No, it wasn’t love at first sight. It took a while for me to fall in love with him. I was already in love, with my life and the way I was living it. But after a while, I had to admit, this guy was the one that was not going to interfere with my happiness, he was going to add to it. He was pretty close to a perfect fit for me and my wonderful life.
What happened in the next seven years was way beyond anything that I could have thought. The man with whom I had chosen to spend my life …was the one that almost took mine.
My book chronicles my journey into, and out of, domestic violence. During the abusive years, I kept a journal, in case he killed me, there would be proof. After each incident, I’d add an entry to the file I kept in my computer entitled, Mad Man Matt, and then I’d print it out and give it to my mom for safe keeping. I wanted to make sure he was locked away forever if he did kill me.
My book contains those journal entries tied together with all the other things that took place during those turbulent years. I originally published this book in 2009 under the pseudonym Erin Donovan because I had to keep my identity a secret. If he had found out I had written a book and exposed his dirty secrets, he would have killed me.
On April 1, 2013, my abuser committed suicide. I’m safe now and can do my domestic violence advocacy work without looking over my shoulder to see if he’s coming after me. So I relaunched my book in 2018 using my real name, a different cover, and adding Chapter 21 which will bring everyone up to date about what’s been going on in my life.
You can purchase it directly through my website here.